Larry Hertzog was born. There have been rumors to the contrary but his mother insists that the event occurred late in the sweltering summer of 1951. When the residents of Flushing, N.Y. became aware of his existence in their neighborhood, the family was soon forced to flee into the suburbs of New Jersey.
Fate would have it that Larry was destined to grow up in the John Hughes world of Teaneck, New Jersey. It was in the flames of suburban heat that this more-than-slightly-twisted personality was forged.
Growing up, Larry got along well with his peers. He admired many girls and though his admiration was rarely returned, he made sure to repay their generosity by indulging in copious evening fantasies. There were a few boys that he managed to befriend though many drew the line when he requested they join him in singing show tunes.
At the extremely mature age of 16, Larry quit Teaneck High School to pursue a career in horticulture. When that failed, he briefly attended NYU Film School. When it became apparent that kissing Marty Scorsese’s ass was part of the curriculum, Larry saw yet another opportunity to cut bait and leave another institution of higher education behind him.
Untethered in the late 60′s, Larry realized he now had a chance to pursue his generation’s foray into “free love.” He discovered, to his delight, that although no one of the opposite sex would pay attention to him, his fantasies were, indeed, free.
With horticulture behind him and a promising future ahead of him, Larry packed up his bags and moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the film industry. He soon found himself behind Camera 1 covering the Los Angeles Thunderbirds, an all-female Roller Derby team. Though these women appeared to be “on a similar intellectual plane,” they, too, ignored him. (Except for an incident in which he was upended with a flying crotch block.)
With his career in athletics a shamble, he turned to the only avenue left to him. Writing. He was counseled to write about what he knew best. He soon discovered there was little market for scripts about “night fantasies.”
The rest of the story involves his work on “Kate Loves a Mystery,” “Hart to Hart,” “Hardcastle and McCormick,” “Stingray,” “J.J. Starbuck,” “seaQuest,” “Nowhere Man,” “Profiler,” “Walker, Texas Ranger,” “Hunter,” “La Femme Nikita” and “Missing” (referred to by his biographers as “The Canadian Years.”)
The end of the story hasn’t been written yet though many are anxious to hear it. When it comes, it’s reasonably sure that the headlines will be HUGE. “Failed Horticulturist Chokes on Double-Whopper with Cheese.”
Sadly, friend of MIPtalk Larry Hertzog passed away on April 19, 2008.
Brad and Noam have decided to honor his memory by reairing an episode of his podcast series Drinks with Larry and Lauren. This episode is a bit longer that usual but definitely worth the listen.
For additional reference we’ve included links to some of the people, places and things discussed in this episode:
City of Prescott, Arizona
Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars
The League of Nations
The Heritage Foundation
The Andre Agassi Foundation
Children for Tomorrow
Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health
Oscar Goodman – Mayor of Las Vegas
Oscar Goldman – Character in Bionic Woman
GLAAD Media Awards
Shelter DVD Audio Commentary
JD Disalvatore – The Smoking Cocktail
Gay and Lesbian Elder Housing
Same Sex Marriage in Iowa
A Place to Live: The Story of Triangle Square
Cleveland International Film Festival
The 23rd London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival
The 25th Annual Boston LGBT Film Festival
Highlander: The Series
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Xena: Warrior Princess
DuMont Television Network
Star Trek Voyager
Star Trek directed by JJ Abrams
Nowhere Man Opening
Nowhere Man: Fact or Fiction?
Nowhere Man DVD
La Femme Nikita
Drinks with Larry and Lauren episodes
Lawrence Hertzog Dead at 56
Drinks with Larry and Lauren on MySpace